A Tribute to Mothers

YOU ARE A WONDERFUL MOTHER – adored by Father God and your children! Thinking of all that makes you YOU – The good, the bad and the ugly – welcome to being human, while we seek to be Divine!

Most of you know how I adore being a mother. For those of you who don’t know me well – I have 10 children – 7 boys and 3 girls – from the ages of 25 to 3. I honestly love every single stage of raising children into adults. And right now I have them at every age and stage.

Nothing in the world brings me more joy than to be with all of them together. They are the funnest group. They are very passionate, rather Italian-like. They are extremely high energy, loud, crazy, and fun. They love to laugh and they make me laugh more than anyone can. They make me lose total control of myself laughing – like I can’t catch my breath or am falling out of my seat and they get such a kick out of making me totally lose it like that.

And they love to talk! About any and every thing. Their brains and souls amaze and fascinate me. Each one of them runs very deep and loves to converse on every level. Even my 3-year-old, and I am not exaggerating. They energize me and keep me young.  They give me peace. They make everything seem good and worthy and worth it all, when anything feels out of whack in my life or the world.

And I love the vast differences I deal with, on a daily basis.  Depending on their ages and what concerns them or excites them. The oldest ones deal with college stuff, girlfriends, future marriage, life plans, and issues of life.

The youngest love to laugh and play and cuddle and hear stories and take walks. Each one presents me with different challenges every day and I absolutely love that. I love being whatever any particular one needs of me in any given day. Lots of advice, encouragement, love, prayers, and laughter.  And I love being the 2nd parent to so many of their friends. I really thrive on the entire scene.

But you know what?  It is not always sheer delight. And I am not always delightful. 🙂 I am strong and demanding and can be loud, louder than all of them –  (that was my cheerleader training.)  Would you believe sometimes the older ones love when I leave for a day or two, because they claim that the home is so much quieter.

Savayvah (7) explains “that it is actually dead when I am gone and life comes back into the house when I return.” Makes me laugh. 

I tend to be anal and bossy about wanting a clean house with 10 kids, and 7 boys at that, so it is just not easy to live with me. I am a strong delegator. They all know how to immaculate a home, do laundry and dishes, and make meals.
 
And I am very straightforward in saying whatever I think they need to hear at any given time. You can’t mince words or walk on eggshells with a house of boys.  So, my closest friends have reprimanded from time to time that I don’t need to be that way to the rest of the world. I am forever attempting to be more careful and sensitive with outsiders, even my boys’ girlfriends.
 
I am like the circus master who keeps on everyone all the time to keep the ship running smoothly. I know I can drive them crazy. But they each adore me intensely and every one of them “knows” they are my favorite!! We take great delight in each other.

Along with all my strengths in my mothering, I have so many weaknesses – that keep my feet on the ground.  The other night, I was talking to 3 of my oldest boys about the concept I learned about in college called “the Halo Effect”.

When you hear bad things about a person, or develop a few of your own bad perceptions, you begin to judge everything through that negative lens of perception.  Likewise, you can believe only good about someone and let everything you hear only reinforce the good. It works both ways.

I began cracking up, so I can hardly talk and say to them “Like I know you boys think your mother is really perfect ( I am cracking up even now writing this).” They all start doing the big eyes and shaking their heads affirmatively. As I go on and say the obvious and we are all laughing – “But I am really not and someday you will see and know all your mother’s human weaknesses.”  They all feign shock!

So…I want you to consider your own motherhood. What do you love and enjoy in your own mothering?  And what do you or your children or husband struggle with the most about your parenting?  Do you know that Father God strategically gave you the children He did?

He knew what He made them for, what they would do in their lives and the specific strengths and weaknesses He needed built into the very fabric of their foundations.  So He chose the 2 parents who could most give that unique combination to the development of these little people.

Have you ever heard of Malachi 2:15?  I would like you to consider first why the Father puts people together as couples. You may be thinking it has something to do with what you as a couple will do for the world – ministry wise, or career. Actually…it is for the children YOU WILL CREATE! First and foremost. “And what is God’s purpose in making them one, but to produce Godly offspring.”

I want to share something with you that Father God spoke directly to me years ago. It set me free.  I was at a friend’s home in Colorado, getting ready for the day and out of no where the Lord asked me “Do you have any idea, then He stopped and laughed and said, NO, you have no idea – the huge risk I took in trusting the human race with parenting?”

No matter how perfect you can be, for so many days, you will blow it on a regular basis. And there will be many holes, that you can not fill and cover and there will always be areas that you can not do as well as someone else close to you. And that is even when you are trying with all of your heart to do it all right.

“BUT I AM COMPLETELY PREPARED TO MAKE UP FOR ALL THE DIFFERENCES AND LACK IN EVERY SET OF PARENTS, WHENEVER I AM INVITED IN TO DO SO.”

People! Ladies! and Gentlemen! God is not looking for us to be perfect. And even our kids have to learn to deal with an imperfect world through us, right?  Father God wants us – on a regular basis – to come to Him and cry out for His help so that HE can make up for all the differences that we can not cover. Some we are blatantly aware of and some we are clueless about.  But Father God is big enough to cover for it all.  THAT’S GOOD NEWS!

Celebrate all that IS good! In you, your husband and each of your children.  Acknowledge the weaknesses you are aware of and that indeed there are those you are not even in touch with. Give it all to the  Father and REST! and Rejoice that He is the all perfect and all capable Father of all.  He looks at you and your children as raw material that only He can perfect and refine and He promises Himself “to complete every perfect work He has begun!” (Phillipians)

I would consider babies to be His perfect work, wouldn’t you?

Only He is the perfect parent. He is loaning you the privilege of parenting. So lighten up and quit being so hard on yourself and ENJOY those kids He has graced your life with.

Now go and be free to be the mother your kids adore, and you adore each one of your children at the heart level. The Bible claims that the “The Joy of the Lord is our strength”. They can be your greatest joy givers. Let them give you joy and life and delight and I promise you shall have renewed strength.

And thank you ~ for being the wonderful Mother that you really are!!!

Advertisements

6 Comments

  1. Yvonne said,

    May 5, 2011 at 11:46 am

    Toni,
    As always you know how to say things ” perfect” haha. Since you were talking about your perfect family, kids, perfect home etc in such a wonderful and delightful manner. Thank you for always being so open to share your ups and your downs, your experiences are jewels in the hands of those who are willing to receive.
    And I count myself lucky I am one of those hands.

    Thank you for sharing. This one paragraph particularly blessed me

    “He knew what He made them for, what they would do in their lives and the specific strengths and weaknesses He needed built into the very fabric of their foundations. So He chose the 2 parents who could most give that unique combination to the development of these little people.”

    It is a great reminder especially when we think we fail, or have failed.
    Blessings to you and those beautiful children and husband.

    Yvonne

  2. themothersheart said,

    May 5, 2011 at 11:50 am

    Thank you my precious friend – Yvonne!

  3. Wylie said,

    May 5, 2011 at 10:06 pm

    Amazing! Did you write this with me in mind? LOL Thank you for your encouraging words!!

  4. Wylie said,

    May 5, 2011 at 10:08 pm

    I can always hear your voice as I read your blogs!! lol I love it! There is something so calming and peaceful about it!!!

  5. kim said,

    May 6, 2011 at 8:13 am

    beautifully written my friend…especially knowing that this is you! I love you!

  6. Kelli said,

    May 7, 2011 at 10:58 am

    Toni!

    Thank you once again, my dear friend, for being an encouraging voice! This so blessed me!

    Love you!

    Kelli


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: